Rules Without Relationship Breeds Rebellion

Rules, expectations, and guidelines tell us the limits of our behavior. They help us know what is and is not acceptable in the eyes of the people close to us and within larger groups of people. And, as the title of this post says, rules without relationship breeds rebellion. I cannot take credit for this statement. I heard it from a Bud to Boss workshop participant in Indianapolis this past June. And still, I like the clarity and simplicity of what the statement says. Some people will read this... [Read more]

Intentions – A Poem That Came to Me While Cleaning

I don’t know why this came to mind, but it did. I was helping my wife clean our living room, and I was, as I often am, thinking about what I could write here. I was not thinking about my wife, my kids, or my professional colleagues. I was just thinking. (Remember, I am a recovering engineer. I am almost always “thinking.”) I started thinking about how we often misinterpret other people’s meaning, and this little rhyme popped (almost) fully formed into my mind. So, I share... [Read more]

Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

A few weeks ago, I read an interesting article titled On the Job, Nice Guys May Finish Last. The title immediately caught my attention, and I had to take a look. In reading the article, I saw an immediate connection to my work and for other people interested in using the DISC model in their professional and personal lives. The point made in this article is particularly significant for people with supportive tendencies (people who are people-oriented and reserved). People with strong supportive... [Read more]

Hear and Understand to be Heard and Understood

I don’t know about you, but I often get frustrated in conversations when the other person simply will not slow down long enough to hear what I have to say. On a number of occasions lately, I have had the opportunity to work through these types of conversations with other people. We both wanted to be heard, and both of us were talking. In reflecting on the situations, I recall some things I learned as a practicing engineer. I remembered concepts from the physical world that paint a clear picture... [Read more]

How To Control Your Anger: Two Questions To Ask Yourself

Guy Shares Two Questions to HelpYou Control Your Anger A question that often comes up in my conversations and training sessions regarding conflict resolution is this: How do I control my anger? Great question. Sadly, it’s often the wrong question. Anger is not really a primary emotion. It does not come first. It may come quickly. It just doesn’t come first. Anger is generally the result of something else. If you imagine at your emotional container like a bottle filled with a carbonated... [Read more]