Intentions – A Poem That Came to Me While Cleaning

I don’t know why this came to mind, but it did. I was helping my wife clean our living room, and I was, as I often am, thinking about what I could write here. I was not thinking about my wife, my kids, or my professional colleagues. I was just thinking. (Remember, I am a recovering engineer. I am almost always “thinking.”) I started thinking about how we often misinterpret other people’s meaning, and this little rhyme popped (almost) fully formed into my mind. So, I share... [Read more]

Effective Communication Skills: How to Quickly Guess a Person’s DISC Style

One of the most common questions about using the DISC model is this: “How do I know another person’s personality style?” Well, the short answer is: you can’t know another person’s style without assessment results. You can, however, make an educated guess about their primary style (or at least how they are interacting in the current situation) by observing their words and behaviors and answering two simple questions (phrased in the language of the DISC model): Are... [Read more]

A DISC Model Question You Should Ask of Yourself

A Question to Ask of Yourself: How do I better control myself? I often hear people ask questions about the DISC model that indicate a desire to use the model to somehow change others. Rather than using the model to label, categorize, or stereotype people, I suggest a different approach: use the DISC model to find ways to connect with other people in better, more effective ways. Towards that end, one question that I suggest you ask yourself is this: How can I use the DISC model to better understand... [Read more]

One Way To Guarantee That Your Suggestion Is Ignored

I have noticed one behavior many of us use that almost guarantees that our suggestions, solutions, and opinions will be ignored when we offer them: We tell people what to do before we have heard their whole story. When we offer people suggestions, solutions, and opinions before we have heard them out, they often do not care what we have to say. So, they rarely listen to and fully comprehend what we are suggesting. The suggestion might be useful. It might be right on target. It might be exactly... [Read more]

DISC Model FAQ’s: Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney?

Guy Answers the Question:Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney? As I teach, train, and coach using the DISC model, people hear me say that I encourage them to change their behaviors to fit the situation and to better connect with other people. Sometimes, people ask me if consciously changing behavior is phoney or fake. This concern raises another common question about the DISC model, and how I recommend people use it to connect and communicate more effectively. In answering this question, I often refer... [Read more]

Effective Communication Skills: Use And More than But

This is a simple, straightforward communication technique that you can use immediately to improve your ability to connect and communicate with others: Use “and” more than “but”. Imagine that you and I are in a conversation and that you have just shared your opinion with me. Compare these two responses that I might make: “You know, that’s a good point, but …” “You know, that’s a good point, and …” With the first reply, it... [Read more]

Communication Tips: Connecting With Reserved, People-Oriented People

One way to improve your communication effectiveness is to communicate in a way that best fits the other person’s DISC behavioral style. When you find yourself communicating with a person who is reserved and people-oriented (primary Supportive behavioral style), remember these key communication tips: Slow down — they usually want you to give them time to process what you’re saying before they respond. Show that you care about them — if you come across as focused only on the task... [Read more]

Connecting With People

This series of articles contains specific tips, insights, and techniques for connecting with people better. This article is from the Connecting With People series. Use the links below to read more from this series. Connecting With People Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, Task-Oriented People Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, People-Oriented People Communication Tips: Connecting With Reserved, People-Oriented People Communication Tips: Connecting With Reserved,... [Read more]

DISC Model FAQ’s: Can Four Styles Really Describe Everyone?

Guy Answers the Question:Can Four Styles Really Describe Everyone? One question that frequently comes up when I teach the DISC model is this: “Can you really describe everyone with just four styles?” The short answer is: yes, you can describe all the behaviors and perspectives of all people using information revealed by understanding the four DISC style descriptors.* Sometimes people take exception to this simple answer. When they do, I usually get challenged with something like: “There... [Read more]

Effective Communication Skills: You Don’t Know Until You Ask

A few weeks ago, I was standing in an airport waiting for my return flight to Indianapolis when I overheard a woman (“Mary”)* complaining about a flight attendant’s (“Sue’s”) behavior on a previous flight. At the time, I was trying not to overhear Mary, but her emotional investment and volume were too high to ignore. As Mary spoke about Sue’s behavior, she said something like this: “Sue did it on purpose just to irritate me.” I remember thinking:... [Read more]

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