Conflict Resolution Lesson: Recognize Redirected Aggression

If you look carefully, you can learn lessons from many everyday events. Yesterday, my daughter, Alexandra, showed one of our cats, Merlin, in our county 4-H fair. Generally, Merlin is the cat you see in the picture above. He lounges on our deck. He sleeps on the steps. He stays with us in the yard. He insists that we pet him when we are in the garage. He is a really friendly cat. At the fair, he was in a cage in a hot building surrounded by other cats, people he did not know, and smells he did... [Read more]

Exercise Your Power of Choice in Conflict Resolution

In many cases, the path from conflict to resolution is like traveling down a dirt road in the country. It’s a little rough. Dirt might get in your eyes so that you don’t see clearly what lies ahead. You have to go more slowly than you do in other situations. Once you are on the road, you have to keep going. It is too narrow to turn around and go back the other way. At some point, you come to a fork in the road and you have to make a choice. In the first few moments of a conflict... [Read more]

Just Do Your Part: Take the Personal Responsibility Pledge

Get ready, this is a bit of a rant. Nothing happened to set me off. There was no “precipitating event” this morning.  This is just a frustration of mine that has been building for some time. Ready? Here goes… Why do we blame other people when we don’t do everything we can do to fix or change a bad situation? Parents blame teachers and teachers blame parents for poor test scores. Managers blame employees and employees blame managers for poor business results. Parents blame... [Read more]

Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

A few weeks ago, I read an interesting article titled On the Job, Nice Guys May Finish Last. The title immediately caught my attention, and I had to take a look. In reading the article, I saw an immediate connection to my work and for other people interested in using the DISC model in their professional and personal lives. The point made in this article is particularly significant for people with supportive tendencies (people who are people-oriented and reserved). People with strong supportive... [Read more]

A DISC Model Question You Should Ask of Yourself

A Question to Ask of Yourself: How do I better control myself? I often hear people ask questions about the DISC model that indicate a desire to use the model to somehow change others. Rather than using the model to label, categorize, or stereotype people, I suggest a different approach: use the DISC model to find ways to connect with other people in better, more effective ways. Towards that end, one question that I suggest you ask yourself is this: How can I use the DISC model to better understand... [Read more]

Conflict Resolution Techniques: Question Your Assumptions

As I read about, study, and work to apply effective conflict resolution techniques, I see one common and overwhelming problem develop in workplaces, families, and social organizations. I see the same problem develop just about everywhere I see people interact. What is this huge problem? People make assumptions about other people’s intentions. Sadly, they often make wrong assumptions about the other person’s intentions. This behavior is so common and so prevalent, I have written about... [Read more]

Why You Might Eventually Do Something You Don’t Want to Do…

… And What You Can Do About It Have you ever told yourself that you wouldn’t do something? Maybe you said you wouldn’t eat too much at a party. Maybe you told yourself that you wouldn’t speak too soon at a meeting. Or maybe you just told yourself that you wouldn’t break the speed limit on the way home from work. Whatever it was, you told yourself that you wouldn’t do something that you either normally do, wanted to do, or habitually do, and you eventually “gave-in”... [Read more]

Memorial Day Reflections: Let’s Keep Things In Perspective

My Boat - USS Benjamin Franklin Twenty-one years ago this month I left the U.S. Navy, got married, and began my civilian career. A lot has happened in those twenty-one years. I have moved from South Carolina to New Jersey to Michigan and to Indiana. I have worked in large multi-national corporations, small family-owned businesses, and in my own business. I have become a father. I have faced financial ups and downs. I have experienced health challenges and been with family members through their... [Read more]

DISC FAQ’s: Can I Change My Personality Style On Purpose?

Guy Answers the Question: Can I Change My Personality Style on Purpose? People often tell me that they believe that they have changed their personality style, and then they ask me if I think this is possible. My general answer is this: It might be possible. I don’t think it is probable. In short, I don’t think that your core, inner, basic personality style changes unless you experience some type of major psychological or brain trauma. I do think that you can learn to behave differently... [Read more]

DISC Model FAQ’s: Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney?

Guy Answers the Question:Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney? As I teach, train, and coach using the DISC model, people hear me say that I encourage them to change their behaviors to fit the situation and to better connect with other people. Sometimes, people ask me if consciously changing behavior is phoney or fake. This concern raises another common question about the DISC model, and how I recommend people use it to connect and communicate more effectively. In answering this question, I often refer... [Read more]

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