Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

A few weeks ago, I read an interesting article titled On the Job, Nice Guys May Finish Last. The title immediately caught my attention, and I had to take a look. In reading the article, I saw an immediate connection to my work and for other people interested in using the DISC model in their professional and personal lives. The point made in this article is particularly significant for people with supportive tendencies (people who are people-oriented and reserved). People with strong supportive... [Read more]

A DISC Model Question You Should Ask of Yourself

A Question to Ask of Yourself: How do I better control myself? I often hear people ask questions about the DISC model that indicate a desire to use the model to somehow change others. Rather than using the model to label, categorize, or stereotype people, I suggest a different approach: use the DISC model to find ways to connect with other people in better, more effective ways. Towards that end, one question that I suggest you ask yourself is this: How can I use the DISC model to better understand... [Read more]

Conflict Resolution Techniques: Question Your Assumptions

As I read about, study, and work to apply effective conflict resolution techniques, I see one common and overwhelming problem develop in workplaces, families, and social organizations. I see the same problem develop just about everywhere I see people interact. What is this huge problem? People make assumptions about other people’s intentions. Sadly, they often make wrong assumptions about the other person’s intentions. This behavior is so common and so prevalent, I have written about... [Read more]

Why You Might Eventually Do Something You Don’t Want to Do…

… And What You Can Do About It Have you ever told yourself that you wouldn’t do something? Maybe you said you wouldn’t eat too much at a party. Maybe you told yourself that you wouldn’t speak too soon at a meeting. Or maybe you just told yourself that you wouldn’t break the speed limit on the way home from work. Whatever it was, you told yourself that you wouldn’t do something that you either normally do, wanted to do, or habitually do, and you eventually “gave-in”... [Read more]

DISC FAQ’s: Can I Change My Personality Style On Purpose?

Guy Answers the Question: Can I Change My Personality Style on Purpose? People often tell me that they believe that they have changed their personality style, and then they ask me if I think this is possible. My general answer is this: It might be possible. I don’t think it is probable. In short, I don’t think that your core, inner, basic personality style changes unless you experience some type of major psychological or brain trauma. I do think that you can learn to behave differently... [Read more]

DISC Model FAQ’s: Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney?

Guy Answers the Question:Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney? As I teach, train, and coach using the DISC model, people hear me say that I encourage them to change their behaviors to fit the situation and to better connect with other people. Sometimes, people ask me if consciously changing behavior is phoney or fake. This concern raises another common question about the DISC model, and how I recommend people use it to connect and communicate more effectively. In answering this question, I often refer... [Read more]

Hear and Understand to be Heard and Understood

I don’t know about you, but I often get frustrated in conversations when the other person simply will not slow down long enough to hear what I have to say. On a number of occasions lately, I have had the opportunity to work through these types of conversations with other people. We both wanted to be heard, and both of us were talking. In reflecting on the situations, I recall some things I learned as a practicing engineer. I remembered concepts from the physical world that paint a clear picture... [Read more]

Just Be Nice

This week, I traveled to Boston to lead a Bud To Boss Workshop for first time supervisors. On my return trip, I connected with a flight in Chicago. I ran between gates to catch the flight to Indianapolis only to wait at the gate because this flight — like the one I had just taken from Boston to Chicago — was delayed. Upon boarding the plane, I settled into my seat beside a nice young woman who was also connecting on this flight, and I made a comment about the commuter jet we were on not being... [Read more]

Better Relationship Tips For Task Oriented People: Redefine Your Task

This week, I was on the road conducting Bud To Boss training. As I called home on Sunday evening, I found myself unable to listen to my wife telling me about her day. Try as I might, I could not get my mind to focus on what she was saying. I could only think about what I still had to do to prepare for the next day before going to bed. Sadly, this is not the first time I have struggled to have a fruitful conversation with my wife while I am traveling for business. After we ended our phone call and... [Read more]

Victim or Victor – You Decide

Whose fault is it when you lose? Whose credit is it when you win? In this time of Olympic competition, I wonder about these sorts of questions. Evan Lysacek beats Yevgeny Plushenko by playing the scoring system to its fullest, and he wins. Then Plushenko plays the victim. In my opinion, he lost – end of story. Maybe Plushenko is more daring. Maybe he is the better physical skater. Maybe the scoring system should reward the quad more highly than it does. Maybe the system should be changed to... [Read more]

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