Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

A few weeks ago, I read an interesting article titled On the Job, Nice Guys May Finish Last. The title immediately caught my attention, and I had to take a look. In reading the article, I saw an immediate connection to my work and for other people interested in using the DISC model in their professional and personal lives. The point made in this article is particularly significant for people with supportive tendencies (people who are people-oriented and reserved). People with strong supportive... [Read more]

A DISC Model Question You Should Ask of Yourself

A Question to Ask of Yourself: How do I better control myself? I often hear people ask questions about the DISC model that indicate a desire to use the model to somehow change others. Rather than using the model to label, categorize, or stereotype people, I suggest a different approach: use the DISC model to find ways to connect with other people in better, more effective ways. Towards that end, one question that I suggest you ask yourself is this: How can I use the DISC model to better understand... [Read more]

Why You Might Eventually Do Something You Don’t Want to Do…

… And What You Can Do About It Have you ever told yourself that you wouldn’t do something? Maybe you said you wouldn’t eat too much at a party. Maybe you told yourself that you wouldn’t speak too soon at a meeting. Or maybe you just told yourself that you wouldn’t break the speed limit on the way home from work. Whatever it was, you told yourself that you wouldn’t do something that you either normally do, wanted to do, or habitually do, and you eventually “gave-in”... [Read more]

Memorial Day Reflections: Let’s Keep Things In Perspective

My Boat - USS Benjamin Franklin Twenty-one years ago this month I left the U.S. Navy, got married, and began my civilian career. A lot has happened in those twenty-one years. I have moved from South Carolina to New Jersey to Michigan and to Indiana. I have worked in large multi-national corporations, small family-owned businesses, and in my own business. I have become a father. I have faced financial ups and downs. I have experienced health challenges and been with family members through their... [Read more]

DISC FAQ’s: Can I Change My Personality Style On Purpose?

Guy Answers the Question: Can I Change My Personality Style on Purpose? People often tell me that they believe that they have changed their personality style, and then they ask me if I think this is possible. My general answer is this: It might be possible. I don’t think it is probable. In short, I don’t think that your core, inner, basic personality style changes unless you experience some type of major psychological or brain trauma. I do think that you can learn to behave differently... [Read more]

One Way To Guarantee That Your Suggestion Is Ignored

I have noticed one behavior many of us use that almost guarantees that our suggestions, solutions, and opinions will be ignored when we offer them: We tell people what to do before we have heard their whole story. When we offer people suggestions, solutions, and opinions before we have heard them out, they often do not care what we have to say. So, they rarely listen to and fully comprehend what we are suggesting. The suggestion might be useful. It might be right on target. It might be exactly... [Read more]

DISC Model FAQ’s: Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney?

Guy Answers the Question:Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney? As I teach, train, and coach using the DISC model, people hear me say that I encourage them to change their behaviors to fit the situation and to better connect with other people. Sometimes, people ask me if consciously changing behavior is phoney or fake. This concern raises another common question about the DISC model, and how I recommend people use it to connect and communicate more effectively. In answering this question, I often refer... [Read more]

How To Control Your Anger: Two Questions To Ask Yourself

Guy Shares Two Questions to HelpYou Control Your Anger A question that often comes up in my conversations and training sessions regarding conflict resolution is this: How do I control my anger? Great question. Sadly, it’s often the wrong question. Anger is not really a primary emotion. It does not come first. It may come quickly. It just doesn’t come first. Anger is generally the result of something else. If you imagine at your emotional container like a bottle filled with a carbonated... [Read more]

Better Relationship Tips For Task Oriented People: Redefine Your Task

This week, I was on the road conducting Bud To Boss training. As I called home on Sunday evening, I found myself unable to listen to my wife telling me about her day. Try as I might, I could not get my mind to focus on what she was saying. I could only think about what I still had to do to prepare for the next day before going to bed. Sadly, this is not the first time I have struggled to have a fruitful conversation with my wife while I am traveling for business. After we ended our phone call and... [Read more]

Victim or Victor – You Decide

Whose fault is it when you lose? Whose credit is it when you win? In this time of Olympic competition, I wonder about these sorts of questions. Evan Lysacek beats Yevgeny Plushenko by playing the scoring system to its fullest, and he wins. Then Plushenko plays the victim. In my opinion, he lost – end of story. Maybe Plushenko is more daring. Maybe he is the better physical skater. Maybe the scoring system should reward the quad more highly than it does. Maybe the system should be changed to... [Read more]

Next Page »