Conflict Resolution Lesson: Recognize Redirected Aggression

If you look carefully, you can learn lessons from many everyday events. Yesterday, my daughter, Alexandra, showed one of our cats, Merlin, in our county 4-H fair. Generally, Merlin is the cat you see in the picture above. He lounges on our deck. He sleeps on the steps. He stays with us in the yard. He insists that we pet him when we are in the garage. He is a really friendly cat. At the fair, he was in a cage in a hot building surrounded by other cats, people he did not know, and smells he did... [Read more]

Intentions – A Poem That Came to Me While Cleaning

I don’t know why this came to mind, but it did. I was helping my wife clean our living room, and I was, as I often am, thinking about what I could write here. I was not thinking about my wife, my kids, or my professional colleagues. I was just thinking. (Remember, I am a recovering engineer. I am almost always “thinking.”) I started thinking about how we often misinterpret other people’s meaning, and this little rhyme popped (almost) fully formed into my mind. So, I share... [Read more]

A DISC Model Question You Should Ask of Yourself

A Question to Ask of Yourself: How do I better control myself? I often hear people ask questions about the DISC model that indicate a desire to use the model to somehow change others. Rather than using the model to label, categorize, or stereotype people, I suggest a different approach: use the DISC model to find ways to connect with other people in better, more effective ways. Towards that end, one question that I suggest you ask yourself is this: How can I use the DISC model to better understand... [Read more]

Why You Might Eventually Do Something You Don’t Want to Do…

… And What You Can Do About It Have you ever told yourself that you wouldn’t do something? Maybe you said you wouldn’t eat too much at a party. Maybe you told yourself that you wouldn’t speak too soon at a meeting. Or maybe you just told yourself that you wouldn’t break the speed limit on the way home from work. Whatever it was, you told yourself that you wouldn’t do something that you either normally do, wanted to do, or habitually do, and you eventually “gave-in”... [Read more]

DISC FAQ’s: Can I Change My Personality Style On Purpose?

Guy Answers the Question: Can I Change My Personality Style on Purpose? People often tell me that they believe that they have changed their personality style, and then they ask me if I think this is possible. My general answer is this: It might be possible. I don’t think it is probable. In short, I don’t think that your core, inner, basic personality style changes unless you experience some type of major psychological or brain trauma. I do think that you can learn to behave differently... [Read more]

DISC Model FAQ’s: Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney?

Guy Answers the Question:Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney? As I teach, train, and coach using the DISC model, people hear me say that I encourage them to change their behaviors to fit the situation and to better connect with other people. Sometimes, people ask me if consciously changing behavior is phoney or fake. This concern raises another common question about the DISC model, and how I recommend people use it to connect and communicate more effectively. In answering this question, I often refer... [Read more]

Communication Tips: Connecting With Reserved, People-Oriented People

One way to improve your communication effectiveness is to communicate in a way that best fits the other person’s DISC behavioral style. When you find yourself communicating with a person who is reserved and people-oriented (primary Supportive behavioral style), remember these key communication tips: Slow down — they usually want you to give them time to process what you’re saying before they respond. Show that you care about them — if you come across as focused only on the task... [Read more]

Connecting With People

This series of articles contains specific tips, insights, and techniques for connecting with people better. This article is from the Connecting With People series. Use the links below to read more from this series. Connecting With People Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, Task-Oriented People Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, People-Oriented People Communication Tips: Connecting With Reserved, People-Oriented People Communication Tips: Connecting With Reserved,... [Read more]

DISC Model Frequently Asked Questions

This is a series of articles that answer frequently asked questions about the DISC model of human behavior. This article is from the DISC FAQ's series. Use the links below to read more from this series. DISC Model FAQ's: Can Four Styles Really Describe Everyone? DISC Model FAQ's: Could I Have More Than One DISC Behavior Style? DISC Model FAQ's: Can I Have One DISC Style at Work and Another DISC Style at Home? DISC Model FAQ's: Is One Style Better Than the Others? DISC Model FAQ's:... [Read more]

DISC Model FAQ’s: Can Your Personality Style Change Over Time

Guy Answers the Question:Can Your Personality Style Change Over Time? People often say that they think they had one personality style as a child and a different one as an adult. While I suppose that is theoretically possible, it is not very likely. I do not claim to be a licensed mental health professional, psychologist, psychiatrist, or neurological system expert. I have spoken with thousands of people in various environments and done lots of reading on the topic. Based on everything I know... [Read more]

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