A DISC Model Question You Should Ask of Yourself

A Question to Ask of Yourself: How do I better control myself? I often hear people ask questions about the DISC model that indicate a desire to use the model to somehow change others. Rather than using the model to label, categorize, or stereotype people, I suggest a different approach: use the DISC model to find ways to connect with other people in better, more effective ways. Towards that end, one question that I suggest you ask yourself is this: How can I use the DISC model to better understand... [Read more]

Conflict Resolution Techniques: Question Your Assumptions

As I read about, study, and work to apply effective conflict resolution techniques, I see one common and overwhelming problem develop in workplaces, families, and social organizations. I see the same problem develop just about everywhere I see people interact. What is this huge problem? People make assumptions about other people’s intentions. Sadly, they often make wrong assumptions about the other person’s intentions. This behavior is so common and so prevalent, I have written about... [Read more]

Conflict Resolution Insights: Why Conflicts Escalate

On two recent occasions, I have been involved in interactions that started with a minor miscommunication and quickly elevated to full-blown conflict. In both situations, the other person and I pretty quickly recognized what was happening, and we managed to get our communications back under control. These situations caused me to reflect on what happens in conflict: How it gets started, How it escalates, and What you can do to de-escalate it. I was also wondering if these situations happen in... [Read more]

Resolving Conflict Lesson: Watch Your Step

When it comes to conflict, none of us is immune to our emotional triggers. Just yesterday, I had an interchange with someone close to me (not in my family, but still close) that didn’t go very well. This person asked me a question that I perceived negatively, and I got angry. His wording was a little off, and he got mildly put-off with me as well. However, he didn’t mean to irritate me. He had no intention of asking the question that got me going in a way that I would perceive as an... [Read more]

Effective Communication Skills: You Don’t Know Until You Ask

A few weeks ago, I was standing in an airport waiting for my return flight to Indianapolis when I overheard a woman (“Mary”)* complaining about a flight attendant’s (“Sue’s”) behavior on a previous flight. At the time, I was trying not to overhear Mary, but her emotional investment and volume were too high to ignore. As Mary spoke about Sue’s behavior, she said something like this: “Sue did it on purpose just to irritate me.” I remember thinking:... [Read more]

The DISC Model of Human Behavior – A Quick Overview

Guy Gives a Quick Overview ofThe DISC Model of Human Behavior As a teenager and young adult, I thought people were totally irrational and unpredictable. In my thirties, I learned about patterns of behavior that people tend to follow in many areas of their lives and in many situations. Understanding these patterns helped me to realize that people are not totally irrational. Most people simply see the world, prioritize their activities, communicate with others, and act according to relatively predictable... [Read more]

Why I Don’t Want to Be a Tolerant Person

Last week, I attended Shadow Day at my daughter’s school. On Shadow Day, parents attend classes with their children. As I sat in her American Literature class listening to a discussion of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic The Scarlet Letter, her teacher questioned the virtue of tolerance. In his brief comment on the topic, he referenced a talk he once heard by Elie Wiesel. Elie Wiesel survived the concentration camps and Jewish persecution of World War II. On the day that my daughter’s... [Read more]

Road Rage, Interpretations, and Workplace Conflict

As I returned home from taking my daughter to school last Friday, a gentleman in a van pulled out in front of me and forced me slam on the brakes to avoid hitting him. When we passed each other, he looked at me sheepishly and waved. Clearly, he did not see my car. I’m guessing that he did not intend to create a heart stress moment for me. It just happened. He’s human. After I waved to him to let him know that I undestood, I thought of the times I have seen other people react totally... [Read more]