Give a SOLID Response

This is a modification of a previous post:

Stop Observe Listen and Deliver

Thanks to my friend Jim Carty for giving me the feedback to improve my acronym for maintaining self-control in conflict situations. Here's my original acronym based on the word SOLD.

Stop – Stop everything. Do not say or do anything. Resist the urge to speak. Stop your internal dialogue that immediately labels the other person as “wrong.”

Observe – What is the other person saying with their body language? What is their tone? Are they angry or are they hurt?

Listen – Listen carefully to their words. What is their intended meaning? Does what they say have merit? What is their perception? Even if you disagree with their interpretation of events, you will need to understand it before you respond.

Deliver – Deliver your response. To resolve a conflict, they also need to know what you are thinking. Hopefully your conscious effort to listen to them before you speak will do two things: give you time to think clearly and show that you care about their concerns.

In looking at my acronym, Jim suggested that I add the letter “I” to form the word SOLID:

Stop – Stop everything. Do not say or do anything. Resist the urge to speak. Stop your internal dialogue that immediately labels the other person as “wrong.”

Observe – What is the other person saying with their body language? What is their tone? Are they angry or are they hurt?

Listen – Listen carefully to their words. What is their intended meaning? Does what they say have merit? What is their perception? Even if you disagree with their interpretation of events, you will need to understand it before you respond.

Interpret – Evaluate what you have learned from Stopping, Observing, and Listening. Make a thoughtful interpretation of their intended meaning. Give yourself the time to think about what you will say or do next.

Deliver – Deliver your response. To resolve a conflict, they also need to know what you are thinking. Hopefully your conscious effort to listen to them before you speak will do two things: give you time to think clearly and show that you care about their concerns.

Thanks to Jim for the suggestion. I have learned many things by working with, listening to, and interacting with Jim. He is a great guy and a fantastic sales trainer. His input is just one more example of how all of us are better than one of us.

So, remember this acronym to give a SOLID response to stressful conflict situations.