Conflict Resolution Mistakes: Stating Opinions As Facts

I must confess, this is a bit of a pet-peeve of mine. I am okay with people having an opinion. I am okay with people whose opinion differs from mine. I just get a little frustrated when they state and defend their opinion as if it were a fact. I can accept it is a fact that they have an opinion. I just struggle with accepting their opinion as a fact when all they have to support it is their assertion that it is true. As I said in Why You Shouldn’t Take Conflict Resolution Advice From Politicians,... [Read more]

Why The Health Care Reform Debate Makes Me Sick

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled Why You Shouldn’t Take Conflict Resolution Lessons From Politicians. In that post, I listed a number of things common to the political process that are terrible examples of how to behave when you are really trying to solve a problem or resolve a conflict. As I look at the health care reform debate, I see a number of these behaviors in the way the discussion(s) is (are) proceeding. And, frankly, it makes me sick. I am not a doctor, pharmacist, attorney,... [Read more]

Conflict Resolution Lessons From A Lifeguard: A Drowning Man Doesn’t Care About You

Communication, conflict resolution, leadership, and parenting can, at times, resemble working as a lifeguard. In all of these situations, you can, like a lifeguard, be in the position of a person approaching someone else when they are under distress because their needs are not being met. Picture a drowning man. He is flailing in the water. He is grasping at everything and everyone within reach. He has little or no visible concern for others. He may, at other times, be a kind, loving, considerate... [Read more]

Using Detours To Get Where You Want to Go

There are times in both personal and professional situations where apparent road blocks get in the way of achieving your desired goals. Earlier in my life, these road blocks discouraged me. Now, I just see them as detours, and I have learned to learn from the detours. I learned to use them to get where I want to go. In the picture above, the desired goal is somewhere on 9th Street. At the moment, the normal or shortest path down 9th Street is closed. That does not mean that we should change our... [Read more]

Why You Shouldn’t Take Conflict Resolution Lessons From Politicians

As I watch the political process, I wonder if very many politicians really understand how to build consensus and to reach joint decisions that protect the interests (as much as possible) of everyone involved. I see leaders from all sides of the political process investing great energy in staking out positions and then defending those positions. I don’t honestly know what goes on behind closed doors. I can only comment on the results I see and what they say in public. I don’t really want... [Read more]

Snow Drifts, Driving Lessons, and Conflict Resolution

Last week, we got a snow fall that closed school for a day. During the day, road crews cleared the roads. Even though we live in a pretty rural area, most of the roads were safely passable by the afternoon. As is often the case here in central Indiana, the temperature stayed below freezing for several days and the winds blew pretty steadily. For those of you that don’t live in snow country, this means that many roads, especially the back roads, began to get drifts in spots. As I took my daughter... [Read more]

Road Rage, Interpretations, and Workplace Conflict

As I returned home from taking my daughter to school last Friday, a gentleman in a van pulled out in front of me and forced me slam on the brakes to avoid hitting him. When we passed each other, he looked at me sheepishly and waved. Clearly, he did not see my car. I’m guessing that he did not intend to create a heart stress moment for me. It just happened. He’s human. After I waved to him to let him know that I undestood, I thought of the times I have seen other people react totally differently.... [Read more]

Conflict Resolution Tips: People Oriented Individuals with Task Oriented People

  In my last blog post, I gave three tips to help task oriented people resolve conflict with people oriented individuals. In this post, I’ll change the perspective by suggesting three tips that go the other direction. 1) Express what you “think” rather than how you “feel.” If you have a stronger people orientation than task orientation, you likely process interactions with others based on how you feel about them and the situation. This perspective may even apply... [Read more]

Conflict Resolution Tips: Task Oriented People with People Oriented Individuals

I often use the DISC Model of Human Behavior as a tool in my training sessions. One of the key ideas to draw from the model is that about 35% of people are more task oriented and about 65% of people are more people oriented. Task oriented people tend to focus on the task at hand even in the presence of other people. They often view everything as a task. Sometimes, they even view relationships as a task or a project. People oriented individuals tend to focus on relationships and people ahead of... [Read more]