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Guy Gives a Quick Overview ofThe DISC Model of Human Behavior
As a teenager and young adult, I thought people were totally irrational and unpredictable. In my thirties, I learned about patterns of behavior that people tend to follow in many areas... [Read more]
Communication Skills Archive:
I don’t know why this came to mind, but it did.
I was helping my wife clean our living room, and I was, as I often am, thinking about what I could write here. I was not thinking about my wife, my kids, or my professional colleagues.
I was just thinking. (Remember, I am a recovering engineer. I am almost always “thinking.”)
I started thinking about how we often misinterpret other people’s meaning, and this little rhyme popped (almost) fully formed into my mind.
So, I share... [Read more]
Filed under: Communication Skills, Resolving Conflict
Tags: conflict escalation, conversations, effective communication skills, intention, judgement, Leadership Skills, miscommunication, perception, Resolving Conflict, understanding people
One of the most common questions about using the DISC model is this: “How do I know another person’s personality style?”
Well, the short answer is: you can’t know another person’s style without assessment results.
You can, however, make an educated guess about their primary style (or at least how they are interacting in the current situation) by observing their words and behaviors and answering two simple questions (phrased in the language of the DISC model):
Are they... [Read more]
Filed under: Communication Skills, DISC Model
Tags: business relationships, Communication Skills, DISC Model, disc style, effective communication skills, influence, personality style, persuasion, Resolving Conflict, workplace conflict resolution
In one way or another, I have commented on this common difference between people in this blog and in other articles. It seems that I have, in many cases, made the point in an indirect way. Today, I thought I would make a more explicit observation about one of the common differences between task-oriented people and people-oriented people (from the DISC model):
Task-oriented people generally “think” about things (including relationships).
People-oriented people generally “feel”... [Read more]
In many cases, the path from conflict to resolution is like traveling down a dirt road in the country.
It’s a little rough. Dirt might get in your eyes so that you don’t see clearly what lies ahead. You have to go more slowly than you do in other situations. Once you are on the road, you have to keep going. It is too narrow to turn around and go back the other way.
At some point, you come to a fork in the road and you have to make a choice.
In the first few moments of a conflict... [Read more]
A few weeks ago, I read an interesting article titled On the Job, Nice Guys May Finish Last. The title immediately caught my attention, and I had to take a look.
In reading the article, I saw an immediate connection to my work and for other people interested in using the DISC model in their professional and personal lives.
The point made in this article is particularly significant for people with supportive tendencies (people who are people-oriented and reserved).
People with strong supportive traits... [Read more]
Filed under: Communication Skills, Leadership Skills
Tags: assertive communication, business relationships, conversations, DISC Model, disc style, emotional control, emotional intelligence, emotions, get over yourself, influence, Leadership Skills, people-oriented people, self awareness, self control
… And What You Can Do About It
Have you ever told yourself that you wouldn’t do something? Maybe you said you wouldn’t eat too much at a party. Maybe you told yourself that you wouldn’t speak too soon at a meeting. Or maybe you just told yourself that you wouldn’t break the speed limit on the way home from work.
Whatever it was, you told yourself that you wouldn’t do something that you either normally do, wanted to do, or habitually do, and you eventually “gave-in”... [Read more]
Filed under: Leadership Skills, Parenting, Persuasion
Tags: emotional control, emotional intelligence, emotions, get over yourself, human behavior, intention, self awareness, self control, understanding people
I have noticed one behavior many of us use that almost guarantees that our suggestions, solutions, and opinions will be ignored when we offer them:
We tell people what to do before we have heard their whole story.
When we offer people suggestions, solutions, and opinions before we have heard them out, they often do not care what we have to say. So, they rarely listen to and fully comprehend what we are suggesting.
The suggestion might be useful. It might be right on target. It might be exactly what... [Read more]
Guy Answers the Question:Is Changing Your Behavior Phoney?
As I teach, train, and coach using the DISC model, people hear me say that I encourage them to change their behaviors to fit the situation and to better connect with other people.
Sometimes, people ask me if consciously changing behavior is phoney or fake. This concern raises another common question about the DISC model, and how I recommend people use it to connect and communicate more effectively.
In answering this question, I often refer... [Read more]
Filed under: Communication Skills, DISC Model, Video
Tags: behavioral style, Communication Skills, DISC Model, disc style, effective communication skills, emotional control, emotional intelligence, Family Relationships, get over yourself, influence, intention, Leadership Skills, perception, personality style, persuasion, self awareness, self control, understanding people
Earlier this week, I attended the ASTD conference in Chicago. As I worked in the Kevin Eikenberry Group booth, I noticed an interesting dynamic happening at the booths around me.
Where someone was willing to stand on a platform and speak, other people were willing to stop and listen.
In fact, it looked to me like people were not just willing to listen; they wanted to listen.
Likewise, at the booths where people sat and waited for the conference attendees to approach them, nothing happened.
So, here’s... [Read more]
This is a simple, straightforward communication technique that you can use immediately to improve your ability to connect and communicate with others:
Use “and” more than “but”.
Imagine that you and I are in a conversation and that you have just shared your opinion with me.
Compare these two responses that I might make:
“You know, that’s a good point, but …”
“You know, that’s a good point, and …”
With the first reply, it almost... [Read more]
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