People are a Package Deal

Nearly everyone irritates me to some extent. Even the people close to me — my wife, my kids, my friends, and my professional colleagues — irritate me from time to time.

All of them have body gestures, word choices, and tones that get under my skin because I see them as rude, impatient, inconsiderate or pushy. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, frustrates me some of the time.

And I’m okay with that.

The reality is that I probably frustrate, irritate, and aggravate them to some extent as well. As I think about it, probably is the wrong word. Let me rephrase that last sentence.

I definitely frustrate, irritate, and aggravate the people close to me.

I can say that I irritate them with a certainty because I am a human being, and people are a package deal.

A few months ago, I was speaking with my friend and colleague JJ Brun, and he said that he had come to the conclusion that when he was in any kind of relationship with a person, he had to accept the frustrating and challenging parts of their behaviors if he was going to enjoy the positive parts.

JJ said he realized that the good and the bad in a person are inseparable because people are a package deal. The phrase is pure JJ. And it’s brilliant.

I’m okay with the fact that people close to me sometimes irritate me because I choose to focus on the good things that they bring to the relationship rather than on their annoying behaviors. I realize that they are a package deal — just like me. I want them to accept me with all of my frustrating, irritating and aggravating habits. So, I have to accept them as well.

The next time you find yourself focusing on a negative attribute that another person brings to your relationship with them, shift your focus and look instead at the good they bring.

Remember, people are a package deal.


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