During the week between Christmas and New Year's day, my wife and I went to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina. Near the end of the day, we stopped in one of the gift shops, and we found the plaque shown in the picture with this post. We immediately loved it, and I knew that it would become the object of a series of posts inspired by the message on it. This is the first of those posts.
Accept differences. What a simple, yet powerful concept.
By accept differences, I do not mean tolerance. I have already written about why I don't want to be a tolerant person.
When I say accept differences, I mean that I see the power in understanding how other people develop thoughts and feelings about certain topics that are different from my thoughts and feelings without lapsing into criticism, condemnation, and moral judgment about them as human beings.
As I see it, accept differences means that I can…
- Accept the person even when I do not accept his ideas, thoughts, and beliefs
- Be friendly, cordial, and respectful despite our different viewpoints
- Work with someone to solve a problem even when we disagree about issues unrelated to the problem we are solving.
One day recently, my wife told a teenage girl that she disagreed with the teenager's choice and the teenager replied: “Mrs. Harris, don't be hatin'.”
Does disagreement really have to imply hate?
I do not think that my disagreement with a persons behaviors or choices means that I hate her, and I don't believe that a person hates me simply because she disagrees with me.
Accept differences.
This article is from the ABC's of Life series. Use the links below to read more from this series.
- The ABC's of Life: Accept Difference
- The ABC's of Life: Be Kind
- The ABC's of Life: Count Your Blessings
- The ABC's of Life: Dream
- The ABC's of Life: Express Thanks
- The ABC's of Life: Forgive
Three Ways to Deal with an Angry Person
What a Diverted United Airlines Flight Can Teach You about Conflict Resolution
A Collection of Conflict Resolution Quotes
Six Questions to Ask for Successful Collaboration
SIMPLE and beautiful that plaque! And I couldn’t agree with you more. Acceptance is one of the practices I offer in my book “Otheresteem: Regaining the Power to Value Others” and I, also, distinguish it from tolerance. “Tolerance sounds like simply putting up with something or someone. Not acting on our contempt or dislike is tolerance. I strive to go further than that, towards true acceptance, whether I like you, or not. ”
Accepting that others may have a different worldview than you, different values, opens you up to a world of understanding, a rich diversity, a possibility that there is more to life than you currently see. Thanks for sharing the ABC of Life and I will be looking forward to your posts on the subject.
And congrats again on FROM BUD TO BOSS!
Lovely thoughts, Guy!
Once we accept differences, it makes working with people and getting things done easy. This also helps us see the other person’s “world-view” which makes all the difference!
Monica – Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for the kind words about our book! Great comment about tolerance.
Dominic – Excellent point.