Have you ever seen or been involved in a conflict conversation where one person said: “I knew that you were going to say that!”
If you have, you probably noticed that the conflict intensity escalated from that point forward.
This type of statement is aggressive. It says that how you anticipate another person will react is a forgone conclusion rather than an expectation. It leaves no room for the other person's autonomy and self-control. It subtly places you in an intellectually and emotionally “superior” position relative to the other person.
Saying that you “know” what someone else will do or say is like saying that you can unzip his head and know what's going on even before he does.
If you want to create more conflict and escalate the emotional level of your conversation, tell someone that you “knew” she would react however she did.
If you want to leave room for conflict resolution and effective communication, strike this type of comment from your conflict repertoire and apply these seven ways to improve your communication during a conflict.
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